curiosity.

Boxcar Children – the books that inspired my childhood ‘orphan’ play

I don’t think I knew how curious of a child I was… but as I find myself engrossed in yet another book – this one a novel with mystery-like qualities – this personality trait, that follows every answer with yet another question, is becoming more evident to me.  I have always enjoyed a good mystery.  As a child, I would get lost for hours in Boxcar Children books.  Barely a fan of the more popular Babysitters Club series which was the favorite among my female classmates, I adored the adrenaline that would fill my little heart as I followed the adventures of Henry, Jessie, Violet and Benny – this quartet of siblings constantly meeting people, asking questions and helping to solve hundreds of mysteries they happened to encounter on every trip they took.  They had a passion for learning how and why things operated so they could live in the world around them and help others experience a better existence too.

 

More evidence. As a child, I was given the nickname ‘big ears’.  At nearly any gathering my parent’s hosted, I remember leaving the children to play in the basement, while I would inch my way closer to the adult table.  Claiming that I was hungry or had a question that needed answering right then and there… not because I truly had an urgent question and I most certainly was not famished. Instead, this urge to be close to the adults was because I craved to know what was going on in the adult world.  What did they find to be important? What political happenings did I need to investigate further? What did that one friend of my dad’s do that led to uproarious laughter? What work stories weren’t talked about at family dinners during the week that would be shared during ‘adult time’? Anything and everything they shared with one another kept me in the kitchen just a minute longer… wanting and hoping to hear a golden nugget – something that would help me understand this world a little more.  Of course, it didn’t take too long for my parents (or really anyone at that table) to notice my presence and to ask me why I wasn’t playing with the other kids – eventually dismissing me to the basement to play with those my own age.

My handsome dad and his girls.

If children don’t inspire one to recall the curious spirit hidden deep inside each adult, I’m not sure what will. This morning, my 3-year-old cousin came over to visit and play for a few hours.  Everything I said to her was followed with the question, “Why?” that seems to captivate the mind of every little child.

Would you like to play a game?  |  Why?

Let’s go upstairs.  |  Why?

It’s time to clean up.  |  Why?

Isn’t this a beautiful, sometimes frustrating word? The curiosity that melts off such a question is stunning.  We get to help a sweet child understand how this world works and why it works as it does.  Sometimes it makes sense… we clean up so that we can have floor space to play another game.  And other times it makes little to no sense… why did I pick 5 bites instead of 6 or 2 or 10 when asking her to eat more of her lunch. Yet, other times it reminds us of how selfish we are… she’s taking a nap 30 minutes earlier because I need some time to breathe without all… the… questions.  Ironically, about one month after meeting me, one of the first student leaders I ever worked with asked me if I knew that I favored the word ‘why’.  Initially I was unsure of how to absorb her observation; however it didn’t take much thinking to realize that she was right.  I was endlessly curious and I have found that as I continue to age, the value I place on such questions has continued to be a favored one.  Why? Because it delves into the deeper meaning behind our behavior and ideas.  Uncomfortable as it might be, it grows and develops a person in numerous meaningful ways when he/she has to face the why behind actions, attitudes, and beliefs.

My sister, Katie and my sweet cousins Abbie and Sally.

Curiosity.  It can lead us to ask questions of the world and others that shed light on different experiences – experiences that have shaped stories, actions and perspectives.  Curiosity.  It can lead us to wonder about structures that are rooted deeply in historical decisions that were relevant at a certain time, but are no longer effective.   It can lead us to restructure things to better serve and love others.  Curiosity.  It can lead us to a conversation with a person we might never interact with due to social and cultural dynamics. It can lead to changed perspectives and personal growth – reshaping a misinformed understanding of a person or a culture.  Curiosity.  It can lead to uncomfortable conversations that grow us and change us.

There can be a dark side to curiosity too, of course.  Unanswered questions.  Systems that don’t want to be changed. People that don’t understand the value of differing perspectives and stories. Changed perspectives that complicate rather than simplify one’s worldview.

Curiosity requires humility. Why? Because when we question and wonder, we acknowledge that we do not fully know or understand something.  We loosen the tight fist around our ideas and recognize that perhaps, just maybe, we don’t know everything.  And not knowing everything can be incredibly freeing.

Albert Einstein wrote, “The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day.” I like this.

May we all be a bit more curious. Ask more questions.  Let ourselves sit comfortably next to the mysteries within this world.  Who knows what we’ll learn and how this might change the world!